Family Sing-Alongs and Old Sluts on Junk: Season's Greetings to All

In Christmas movies the whole family stands around the piano singing carols and smiling creepily at one another, while in reality you watch and comment that no family ever does that. Yeah, well I came from the kind of family that totally did that, though in our defense it was with less smiling and more scotch.

I can't play piano as well as my father did and I'm not religious in the slightest, so on the off-chance that I do one day have kids and the state does let me keep them, I can't imagine much carol-fueled family bonding around a piano. But there will surely be a good deal of scotch-fueled singing around the internet, because the internet feeds you the lyrics and what stupid piano ever did that for you?

And in the spirit of the season, I invite you all to sing along with me to the hands-down best Christmas song ever: The Pogues' Fairytale of New York. 

I'm totally ready for my offspring, now.

Happy Christmas your arse.

Boss Stuff on the Interwebs: Wednesday Links 22/12/10

While Russian holidays don't technically start until next month, I'm not about to let that stop me from not going to work or getting drunk in the daytime. I know my roots. And I know most of you are doing the same. So in addition to dodging or seeking out mistletoe based on your own personal level of sluttiness, you should take some time to check out links:


For Gentiles:

• If you like Sufjan Stevens --and maybe Jesus-- The Sound and the Fury has the former singing songs about the latter. Or maybe it's the other way around. Something like that, anyway. 

• And only The Devil Has the Best Tuna could satisfy even the most obscure Yuletide tastes, walking you through Matinee Records' Christmas EP with Math and Physics Club, Northern Portrait, Champagne Riot, Bubble Gum Lemonade, and Strawberry Whiplash. Also I just added "Champagne Riot" to my list of potential autobiography titles.

And for Those Who Just Call This "The End of December":

• I'm not so hip to the indie dance scene, but Ventomat knows better and is teaching me about Popskarr.

• Know Your Conjurer has Suicide live at CBGB. And anything live at CBGB is worth looking at.

• Electric Comic Book has Captain Beefheart's last Letterman interview. Because no, dammit, you can never pay enough respect.

•  If you don't know Boston garage-pop band Hands and Knees you're in luck, because Relentless Noisemaker knows everything and will tell you all about it.

• Hmm...let me try to make this about music somehow.....The Royal Tannenbaums had a great soundtrack! There. Now go look at this "111 Archer Avenue" poster, because Maxim Dalton is an amazing artist. And if you buy it for someone this Christmas/Hanukkah we're right back on theme. 

'Tis The Season to Make Big Corporations Give

For me, Christmas is about two things: The Muppet Christmas Carol and drinking before noon. And for many people there's the whole "helping the less fortunate" thing which, conveniently, can be done drunkenly before noon.


For the fifth year in a row, The Killers have put out a new Christmas song.  It's called Boots, the video is by Napoleon Dynamite director Jared Hess, and it's being released for Starbucks.


Now here's the thing: I don't think this song is good at all. I don't care much for Starbucks. Brandon Flowers is wearing on my last nerve with his so-awful-you-will-tear-your-eyes-out-so-you-can-use-them-as-earplugs solo album, and I loathe Napoleon Dynamite. But for every internet view this video receives, Starbucks will donate 5¢ to (RED), a charity dedicated to lowering the HIV/AIDS birthrate to 0%. And even I'm not enough of an asshole to think that babies should die of AIDS.

So watch the video. Turn off the sound and watch it twice. Watch it 71 times and your grande mocha latte will be a tax writeoff. 


Or you can not watch it at all and do something else you enjoy, like throwing kittens at orphans, you heartless bastard.


Remember, this is for a good cause: