Thursday, December 2, 2010

I Hate Bono

A buddy sent me this, ostensibly to enrage me:

How is it possible to agree to doing this without realising what a colossal jackass you are?

PUBLICITY MANAGER: Bono, hey. How's the tantric stuff?

BONO: That's Sting.

PUB MAN: Yeah, six of one, whatever. I've got a money idea here for your next photo op, baby. 

BONO:  Can I meet with another world leader for a totally meaningless conversation? I'd love more videos that make me feel powerful  I can jerk off to  make a difference in the world.

PUB MAN: No no--no video. We need to promote your "charity" clothing line, right? Now you're all about Africa and the God-awful living conditions suffered there, so I'm thinking you could--wait for it-- actually go to Africa. Not one of those horrible villages with all the dysentary and flies and shit. Gross. No, we'll take you to some scenic grasslands and give you a private plane. We'll also throw in some $5000 luggage and then take expensive, photoshopped pictures of you. This way you can promote your for profit company and do some advertising for Louis Vuitton all at once. You carry a guitar, you look pensive, and BOOM--people will see how much you care about starving Africans. Because not only will you actually be in Africa posing for pictures, but you will not be eating in those pictures.  BAM.

BONO: I'm not sure about this.

PUB MAN: You get to wear cheesy, dated sunglasses.

BONO: I'll do it.

1 comment:

  1. I would have thought he wouldn't say "I'll do it" so much as he would have screamed "YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH."


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